Ahh back in the day, when I was a student, I lived for the weekend. I loved going out to dance the night away. I was never one to drink much, but I was quite a social butterfly back then! I was one of those people who could walk into our student union and see at least 2 or three groups of people who I could happily party away the night with.
I loved going out and being social, meeting new people, having a laugh – all the things that a new student should do (and yes I studied as well!). If my student funds had allowed me I’d have gone out dancing every night of the week, although that would have been a bit detrimental to my studies I think…
Cut to now, and I very rarely get ‘out’ properly, most of my friends have now moved away as they were only here for uni, and the few people I still see semi-regularly either have kids of their own now and don’t get out themselves, or are sick of the partying that we used to love so much.
Tonight for example… I’ve been invited out to a friend’s birthday night out. Going for a meal and then out for drinks and probably a club afterwards. Back in the day I’d have loved the thought of going out, meeting new people etc, but now… now I feel anxious that I won’t have anything to talk to these people about – they’re all students and with not much (if any) grasp on the whole ‘real life’ thing. Not to mention that I just have no confidence with myself when I’m in the pubs and clubs these days – the thought of it makes me want to just hide in the shadows! A far cry from how I was just 3/4 years ago.
I really miss the all-out confidence I had in myself back then, but I’ve been away from the ’scene’ for so long now that I just feel completely out of place in what were some of my favourite haunts, no matter how many drinks I knock back to try to forget the feeling!
So what will I do about tomorrow night? I think I’ll go to the meal and then head home afterwards… it’d be too long a night otherwise when I’ll have been up all day with the boys. Plus that way it won’t break the bank just before Christmas!
I know once I’m there I’ll be fine, I just always seem to have that pit-of-my-stomach feeling before going to these things…