Don’t you just hate it when you can’t get to sleep at night because you’re stressed? Well, here I am at half one in the morning, stressing.

I’ve not posted in the past week as we’ve, well I’ve, come to a decision. I can’t cope with the full time hours. I tried – oh how I tried! I even did the whole budget thing and posted about it to try to keep my spirits up, but at the end of the day, I just can’t cope with such long hours, so as of tomorrow I’m moving onto part time. Still 25 hours a week, which will be *just* enough to pay the bills, but now of course I’m worrying.

It’s all very well to have enough to cover bills, but then what about that safety net? The only way we’re going to get that is if J gets a part time job too. Just persuading him to get one will be hard enough, nevermin finding one that will fit in with my and the boys’ schedules. Even just 12 hours a week would be enough to keep us ticking over a little more comfortably, it’s not too much to ask is it?

I’ve seen J almost physically flinch every time I mention it, but to be honest, I think it’ll be better for him. I think he needs to be out and having to face being out and around other people for him to start getting better, cause at the moment he hates being outside, and I’m positive that’s been getting worse since he’s officially been the ’stay at home parent’.

Whether he agrees with this or not is anyones guess – any time I try to chat to him about it all he just freezes up. There’s only so much of that I can take before I have to just start making the decisions without his input.

No need to reply to this, hell… I’ll probably end up deleting it, I just need a mind-dump so I can at least attempt to get some sleep before my alarm goes off in, oh… 5 hours. Yay for mind-dumps!


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