Note to self…

Don’t watch anything romantic, anything that contains happy couples, even unhappy couples for that matter, while your spouse is seperated from you for a prolonged period of time. You will Cry, with a capital C. Big huge sobs will start pouring out and there’s not going to be a damn thing you can do about it but go with the flow (of tears and snot) and let it all out.

Being apart sucks. There’s nothing good coming out of it, other than it will be worth it in the long run.


I don’t know how many times a day I have to repeat that to myself. How many times I see someone being picked up by their Daddy at nursery. Every day now Zack cries for his daddy, and you know what – I want to cry along with him. I want to stamp my feet and cry and scream because it’s NOT FAIR that we have to be apart. It’s NOT FAIR that my sons are having to be without their daddy. It’s NOT FAIR that none of it rests in our hands, that we have to rely on someone wanting to buy our house (in this financial climate – HA) to be together again.

I’m feeling sorry for myself (did you guess??). I woke up this morning AT 4AM (thank you Zack) with a hellish cough and my voice seems to have gone walkabout. Did you know that when you try to talk in your “don’t mess with Mummy” deep voice when you have lost your voice it comes out in a squeak and makes your almost-4-yr-old burst out laughing? Well, it does. To be fair both Zack and Max have been pretty good today, so I can only hope this continues till I start to feel better.

Then there’s the other side of things. When we do finally move up there, what if I don’t like it? What if we can’t afford a decent place? What if I don’t make any friends? I’ve finally made an awesome friend here, the first time I’ve had a girly friend like this for about 3 years, and I’m going to be moving away.




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