Trying to get back in the swing of things

So yeah, you can imagine how I’m feeling right now. J was back at work for ‘rehab’, as they call it. Trying to get back in the swing of things. They’ve been *really* good about his sick leave, and about him coming back – softly softly. Half days for the first couple of weeks, pushing forward the time he leaves, but still he’s coming home seemingly stressed out, anxious and with a tension headache.

When I hear the call of him coming home early, I can literally FEEL my heart sink. How will he be when he gets home? Does he want to go to bed? Will Zack’s constant cries for attention make him feel even more agitated? Will he go out? Or will he sit in front of the PC and try to shut everything out?

Luckily this time it hasn’t happened. He seemed relatively relaxed with the boys, and just relieved to be home for the weekend. I just hope he feels well enough to try going in again on Monday, either that or it’ll be back to the doctor’s again. I have a feeling I may have to go out in the big wide world to find a job if this keeps up. Something I really didn’t want to do until the boys were at school, but needs must and all that. We shall see how J’s last two weeks of ‘rehab’ go first.

Soooo tired…

You’d think that when I have a full night’s sleep (i.e. 6hrs UN-interrupted) that I’d be more awake wouldn’t you? Well apparently my body has decided that if I do that I’ll be even more shattered the next day than if I’d stayed up later and had only 4-5 hours of broken (i.e. Max… grr!). Then I feel (almost) fine and dandy. Still tired, but not completely shattered. Or at least not until later on in the day.

Did I mention we live on the same street as a football stadium? Well, we do, and tonight was one of the ‘big’ matches in the Scottish football world, so we’ve had constant football chants since about 7pm and it’s only stopped now (at around 11pm). At least it’s not like this all the time! I’m just amazed Zack and Max managed to sleep through it all!

Went to see Mum today in the hospital and she was looking really well. Able to walk about some and wasn’t in horrendous pain anymore, thank goodness! I was able to stay for almost 2 hours, just sitting and chatting. It’s not often we get to do that without some interruptions, be them adult or child (lol sorry J and Dad!), so we both really enjoyed that time, just the two of us 🙂

Anyhoo, time to go wash the baby bottles and head to bed – so tired.

Anyone want to take a toddler and a 7 month old for a couple of weeks for me to get a break?

No? Ok, just checking.

Are you sure now? Last offer!

(Who am I kidding… I’ll offer again!)

(Many, many times)

Blah

That is how I feel today. Mum’s operation was this morning and went well, she’s very sore but recovering and the surgeon said everything went to plan, so send her some get well vibes will ya?

Zack and Max were both pretty well behaved, and we managed to go into town where I picked up Mother Goose’s Nursery Rhymes book for the Zackman. I have an old copy titled exactly the same, only it’s way too old and decrepit from my toddler usage to let Zack read it, so now he has his own 🙂

Z has been happy in his new bed for a good couple of weeks now and has only fallen out once. I’ve taken to reading with him snuggled up on his bed before he goes to sleep, it’s sooo nice to finally be able to do that! Wasn’t exactly possible with the cot… damn those sides!

Certain people on the internetz have been making me very broody, not to mention the newest arrival up the stairs, a gorgeous lil girl named Paige who is not yet a week old! I know realistically that I physically couldn’t cope with having another pregnancy at the moment. The pain I go through with the SPD is unbearable, and it gets worse with each pregnancy, meaning that *if* there’s a next time I’m likely to be stuck in a wheelchair for the last couple of months, if not total bed-rest 🙁 Needless to say that’s not even feasible with Zack and Max being the ages they are.

So the biological clock will just have to keep ticking for now. Maybe we’ll have some more when Max is old enough to be at school, but then I’ll be getting MY freedom back, so maybe we won’t. Either way we’re really lucky to have the two we do already, so I’m just going to try to enjoy them while they still love the huggles and tisses, cause it won’t last forever will it?

Inspiration Lost

I’m trying to catch up with the housework after having our friend to stay, and I seem to have run dry on things to say… not that I have much to say to begin with, but you get what I mean, right?

I couldn’t believe it today though – woke up to sunny skies and a warm house, with NO heating on! Typical that the whole time Nosey (Tim) was here it was grey, wet and yucky. I reckon he brought it with him… 😉
So yeah, I’m talking about the weather – I suck right? Well, J may disagree with that though (ahem, totally different post there!).

It’s a pretty, sunny day and all I want to do is go back to bed. I don’t wanna do the ton of laundry, I don’t want to run around after the boys all day, I don’t wanna go outside. I just want to go back to bed. I guess you could say I’m having an off day *sigh*. At least these are few and far between now huh?

I *should* get off my ass and do my chores. I will, I will… later. What I’m gonna do for now is play with the boys, cuz even though I don’t really WANT to right now, I know I’ll enjoy it once I’m taking part!

Kissing your kids

I was browsing an old forum I was a part of while pregnant with Max and the question came up of whether or not you kiss your little ones on the lips, and I thought that would be some great blogging material so here it is!

I kissed my mum and dad on the lips till I was in my late teens, I never thought anything of it, but then I just kind of stopped doing it… no particular reason. I guess now I feel like I have my own little family for those kisses if that makes sense? When it comes to Zack and Max I kiss them any chance I get – practically anywhere I get! I mean who could resist those cheeks? That slobbery mouth and baby breath? And never quite knowing if you’re going to get a kiss or someone trying to bite your nose just makes it even more fun, especially now there are TEETH involved!

So what about the other half? Well, J loves the hugs, and is happy to accept the kisses, but he really prefers the rough and tumble play with Zack compared to snuggling up together. I think that’s just dads and sons in general really though isn’t it? When it comes to Max though, he really loves the quiet cuddles with him. The look on his face when he’s with Max without realizing I’m watching – oh he is SO in love with those boys.

Thirteen things I wanted to be or do when I was growing up.

  1. To be a famous horse-rider with a stud-farm. I knew EVERYTHING about horses even though I never had a lesson.
  2. To be a vet. Same as above for pretty much most animals!
  3. I wanted to be a singer. I loved singing in the school choir, unfortunately my lack of any sort of singing in the past 5 years has left my voice to be slightly lacking now to say the least.
  4. An artist. I was pretty good in art class at school, top of the class in fact. I decided that I’d rather keep it as a hobby than try to do it for a day job. Alas, just like the singing, I’m out of practice.
  5. A movie star – who wouldn’t want to get into cut-scenes with the cute kid from Free Willy (ok I was only like 10 there right? leave me alone!)?
  6. I wanted to be an interior designer. I still think I’m pretty good at that sort of thing – I’d so love to be able to design my own house, if money was no object then wow I’d be in heaven!
  7. The love of animals led to me wanting to become a marine biologist.
  8. Then I realized I’d end up looking at plankton for the rest of my life so I thought biomedical sciences would be more fun – I was always fascinated by the things going on in my body every second just to keep me alive.
  9. Then I went off at a tangent and wanted to be a psychologist.
  10. After being at Uni for a while I decided that I still wanted to do science rather than psychology, so I switched degrees to Pharmacology and Physiology deciding that I wanted to go into research.
  11. Once J had proposed to me I wanted to be a good wife for him, something I still struggle with today. Lets face it, we can’t be perfect ALL the time!
  12. Once I had Zack all I wanted was to be a good mum to him, and I actually think I’m doing a pretty good job on that one, yay me!
  13. Once I had Max all I wanted was to get some sleep again. We’re still working on that one…

… and that pretty much brings us up to date with things I want to be or do as I grow up, I’m sure there will be more to add to this list as the years go by!

Busy Busy Busy!

Totally shattered as we’ve been busy rearranging our living room today. We got a gorgeous new sofa yesterday and realized that it didn’t *quite* fit in the initial place we’d been going to put it, cue a complete move around of everything in our living room!

I’ll have pics up at the weekend of our new and improved space, until then… can anyone tell me where do you store your kids’ toys!? We have sooo many and not a clue where to put them all. I’ve thinned them out as much as I can without ending up regretting it when Max is old enough to play with them. I just hate having them all out in our living room as we’ve not really got the place for it and they all get pulled out so blimmin quickly! Any (cheap/free) ideas?

Zack has started saying “What you guys doing?” when he has been left for more than about 2 seconds, cute but wearing after oh, the 50th time? Oooh, and Max has found his feet properly, like without me waving them in front of his face! Sooo cute.

This really get’s my goat…

I’m on my soapbox and I have something to say. There is NO WAY a 4 year old should be allowed to roam around ON HIS OWN all day long, and yet some people seem to think it’s completely fine – WTH?!

What’s set me off on this? Last night I had taken Zack along with me to the corner shop which is a good 5 minute walk with a toddler and on our way back I noticed a little boy outside our close (block of flats for those not used to the Scottish term!), shivering away and crying. I popped Zack inside with J and went back out to see what was the matter.

Now I’ll just point out now, this is not the first time I’ve seen this child out on his own unsupervised. Last summer I saw him countless times wandering by our flat on his own looking for the boys next door from us to play with. Oh, did I mention he was playing chicken on the road? You know… running in and out between the parked cars… sickening isn’t it?

13 Ways to keep myself sane

These are the things I’ve been doing to try to not flop into a heap while I’m on my own with the boys:

  1. get up and dressed by 10am at the latest (bearing in mind the boys often don’t wake til after 9am)
  2. get out of the house for a walk every day
  3. keep on top of the housework so it doesn’t get too much
  4. call my mum
  5. try to get them both down for a nap at the same time
  6. blog my heart out (that can only really be done if/when o 5 happens)
  7. try to eat properly and drink plenty of fluids – I get sooo grumpy if I miss out on a meal or get too thirsty
  8. listen to music and have a sing and a dance
  9. play “tickles on the bed” with Zack – that giggling is infectious
  10. make sure both boys are somewhere safe and shut myself in the bedroom listening to a song or two on my iPod full blast.
  11. call a friend, or see if someone can come over – if I need help I try to ask for it, otherwise no one knows I need it!
  12. give Zack a huuuuuuge hug and tell him I love him – usually follows with “I luff you too mummy”…hearts? melting? yup!
  13. and of course the thing that makes everything better, at least for a while… CHOCOLATE!

wow I can’t believe I actually managed to come up with 13! lol

Lots of stuff

FINALLY! He’s been asking to sit on it for a few weeks now but so far as refused to do anything in it, preferring to wait till he had his pull-up-nappy-thingys on before relieving himself. He got such a lot of cheers and praise from it, I hope this is the start of him actually taking an interest… it’d be nice to only have one set of nappies to deal with.

Oooh and there’s also the major thing of Max turning back into the enjoyable baby instead of the screamingbabywhowontlethisparentssleep that he had turned into. I’ve noticed him doing a few new things today – he’s constantly trying to pull himself forward, or upright, lifting his head forward, and he’s started purposefully reaching for things that catch his eye. So I guess the past 2 weeks of mayhem have been his brain developing enough for him to do these things. Go figure.

My parents were over today and will be tomorrow. Max has been an angel all day, and only up once last night at the usual time of 4amish for a feed, then back to sleep. The difference in my mood as a result of having more sleep is amazing. I started taking the meds yesterday and have noticed I’m fidgeting a lot more this evening… this happened last time too but sorted itself out again within a couple of weeks. I hope it does the same this time around too!

So… I’m going over to my parents house for the weekend for a break, and I realised this afternoon that I have almost no clean underwear to take with me, and just the crappy clothes left to wear. To top it off J is on his last pair of trousers as is Zack and Max is in his last sleepsuit! There’s gonna be a minimum of 3/4 loads to get done tomorrow/today if I don’t want to have to do it all on sunday! I also need to set a post to go up on saturday as I’m not sure how stable the net connection will be over at theirs. My trusty laptop will be coming with me though so I can always write any ideas I have for blogging while I’m there to copy and paste when I get home.

I’m sure I can last 2 days without the internet… it’s not like it’s going to kill me, right? RIGHT? I can manage, really I can. *hyperventilates*

I am so looking forward to the weekend though, and now I know Max seems to be back to normal sleep-wise I won’t worry about it being too much for J, so I can just sit back and relaaaax.